Month: December 2017

Thoughts on this Solstice Day…

I have said this before on my podcast and in my writings … Life is NOT about what happens “to” you … life is about how you respond, your reaction to events …

We do not have control over all the events that happen to us in life, but we DO have total control of how we react and adjust to them …

The journey is as much about perception as it is about decision … How you see things determine how you will react … Change yourself and you change the world around you …

It has been a HELL of a year … It began in January when I was out of commission for two months that started with chest pains … selling our house … Alta’s first major surgery … Sandy fighting cancer … Alta’s SECOND major surgery …

And now Alta’s workplace calling us yesterday telling her that her position cannot be held open and they are letting her go as of Christmas Eve …

Alta worked for Southern Maine Health Care right at the hospital, and they said she was an excellent employee during the same phone call that they told her she was no longer an employee …

I understand it’s a “business” decision … that allows the people actually MAKING the decision to hide behind the business itself and not have to feel compassion so they can sleep at night …

… fuckers …

BUT I’m getting off track …

We don’t get to choose what happens to us all the time … It would be easy to blame God, or Gods, Goddesses, Universe, Teddy Ruxpin, whoever, for all the horrible shit that happens in life … I don’t believe that for a moment.

It would be easy to just curl up in a ball at the back of the closet and hibernate, peeking out every few years to see if anything has changed, grabbing a spoon and another jar of peanut butter and crawling back into that dark, safe place.

Or you change yourself … and change your world…

Life is not the struggle most people think it is … don’t get me wrong, it IS a struggle at times …

just not the one you think it is …

I believe everything happens for a reason, even if I don’t know what that reason is … even if the reason is only because “Shit Happens” …

Every struggle does NOT have to be fought with a face on attack, pushing against the wind … sometimes it is enough to hold on and just keep from being blown over … sometimes it means finding shelter until the storm passes … sometimes it means walking sideways across the wind … sometimes it means backing up and finding a different way around…

There are challenges every day … learning how to flow around them means keeping perspective so you can make the right decisions for YOUR life … being able to bend in the wind so you don’t break …

Sometimes you have to changes paths to get around broken trees in the way …

Your journey is not a single path, it may be winding and full of thorn bushes at times… and straight and sunny with flowers growing along it at others …

Flowers grow in shit …

Perception…

I can’t control what happens to me in Life all the time … I CAN control how I deal with it.

I’ve seen a LOT of shit in my life, and I know it doesn’t stay that way …

Change is the constant, and change is neither “Good” nor “Bad”…

It just “Is” …

It is our personal perception that determines “Good” or “Bad” …

MY perception in life is “Is”… and it is my reactions that I CHOOSE to stay positive.

It wasn’t a heart attack I had in January, and the medication I’m taking fixed the problem I do have … being able to sell our house probably kept us from losing our house to the bank with all our bills this year, and we have a wonderful apartment for now that is cheaper than what we were paying … Alta’s first operation on her neck kept her from being paralyzed or dead, and she is getting feeling back into her arms… Sandy’s cancer was removed and follow-up tests are showing negative for any more cancer … Alta’s second operation on her lower back last week is already showing signs of helping with the pain in her legs …

As far as Alta’s job? … Change is constant … new beginnings, new year.

Blessed Yule, Blessed Solstice … and the path keeps on before us

2017 and a Pagan heart …

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to take a moment to talk about this year and the future of “A Pagan Heart” and “Ramblings”…

Not everyone follows me on Facebook so some of you may not be aware of what’s been going on…

It has been a rollercoaster of a year …

After a few years on the market we finally sold our house at the beginning of June and started getting ready to build our new house this past Summer.

Those plans changed and we moved into an apartment and put our house plans on hold for a couple years because things got crazy.

I have the honor of living with two wonderful women whom I love and care for very much … since around January, our roommate Alta had been having trouble with her arms and legs … pain and nerve problems …

After several scans and tests, the doctors started treating her condition as a critical spinal cord injury … they operated on her neck in the middle of August taking out bone from 5 vertebrae and putting in screws and plates to stabilize her neck …

About this time, my wife Sandy had a follow-up from an operation she had last year … The doctor saw something that didn’t look right … after sending some tissue for biopsy it came back positive for a rare form of Cancer … She went in for surgery at the beginning of October to have it removed.

Alta’s surgery was successful on helping with her arms, but not her legs …

Her legs have progressively been getting worse and she had more scans done at the end of October and middle of November … she’s goes in for surgery tomorrow morning for spinal decompression on several of her lower back vertebrae.

So here’s the thing … The Universe is STILL looking out for us …

It would be really easy to get depressed and worry and go “Why is this happening to us?”…

All three of us have stayed positive and while it has been a stressful year, here are the things that have gone right.

We sold our house! … It allowed us to pay off our land which we now own outright … we were able to pay off a car and several other bills which has helped with finances … our apartment is costing us $100’s less than our mortgage … and truthfully, if we had still been living in our old house, we would have lost it to the bank because of all our added bills.

Alta’s first surgery was successful! … She has more and more feeling and strength back in her arms and is starting to slowly get feelings back into her hands…

Sandy’s surgery was successful! … They were able to cut out the cancer with clean edges and they did a lymph node dissection to check if the cancer had spread and it came back negative. She still has to go in for 3 month checkups for a while, yet the doctor said this was the best outcome and she didn’t need to have radiation or chemo.

Life is FULL of twists and turns … things can change in a moment and you never know how things will change tomorrow … It’s import to love life, love each other and weather the storms together … Life is what you do today, in this moment … not yesterday, not tomorrow … just today, because that’s what we have … you can plan things out, yet it’s important to be able to change your plans because crap happens … sometimes a LOT of crap.

It has been a rough year of a lot of change … our savings are gone, our house is gone…

..and we still wake up and greet each day loving each other and loving life 🙂 …

Friends have helped us tremendously throughout this year and we thank them with all our hearts …

We have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food in the fridge … that is more than a lot of people have, and we truly know how blessed we are…

So, for now, my podcasts are going away for a while … my recording equipment is packed in storage and my family comes first … time just will not allow me to record a proper podcast …

The website will still be up and I may post a blog post from time to time and I will post it on the podcast feed like this one …

the podcast feed will still be up and my old episodes will still all be there to listen…

How long before new episodes? …

I don’t know…

a year…

maybe two …

but I WILL still be on Facebook and I’ll put links to my pages at the end of this post.

Thank you to all of you for listening to my ramblings these past years.

~ Robert (Greywolf) Webber Chipman

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https://www.facebook.com/robert.webber.chipman

https://www.facebook.com/OceanMoonCreations/

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